Life is wierd

Wow life is wierd and sometimes really rough.  I've realized in the last few days, I take to many other peoples problems onto myself.  Then when I have a real problem or sad time in my life I can hardly bear it.  Over the last week a lot of friends have had some pretty big problems.  But I myself have been dealing with a large load of grief and sadness myself.  Sometimes I wish I could run away and make it all disapear and I could deal with my problems.  I did that for a while this tuesday and wedensday. 

Some of you know this and some of you don't.  On Saturday night my grandpa passed away he had a stroke on thursday night and held on til saterday.  On tuesday I left for his funeral which was on wed.  It made me so happy to get away and spend time with my family.  But at the same time I was there to bury my grandpa.

I was a pall bearer at the funeral.  I did really well at the whole staying tough and not crying, all through mass and even threw the religous ceramony at the garve site.  But the legion had a military service also and at the end when taps started to play I couldn't hold it in I started to tear up and after a few seconds I was full on crying my aunt sharyl from my dads side of the family was standing next to me she wrapped her arm around me it made me feel good.  Lately I haven't felt very comforted and that made it so much better.  I feel like I'm always listening to other peoples problem but nobody cares about mine.  The only person who listens anymore is God. 

I loved my grandpa he taught me the meaning of hard work and he always had sense of humor.  He lived a long life and I'm proud to be his grandson.  His stories alway made me realise you never know what God is going to put in your path but no matter what it is enjoy it and keep a smile in your heart.

I have nice feet

You know when I get down I think to my self at least I have nice feet.  I've been taking a ballet class on thursdaey nights with Roxanne and Moe.  Last week the teacher told me I had nice feet because I have really high arches which is good for ballet.  So I have nice feet.  I really enjoy the class.

So I have decided me being a nice guy comes off as being wierd sometimes because nobody is ever polite or nice anymore.  For instance my friend was getting ready to go stay at her moms house for the next week, she lives with her dad normally, and she had a bunch of heavy bags to carry so I said "You want me to get that?" and I picked up two of the bags.  With a funny look she replied "Sure."  The funny look made me think, wow she thinks this isn't normal, maybe its not.  Why isn't it normal?  Manners and courtasy don't exist in the world anymore.  Children spacificly boys aren't taught to hold doors, open doors, stand at the table or complimant just out of courtasy.  Chivalry is dead.  There are a few souls out there who are trying to keep it alive.  But those people are looked on as wierd, smart ass, freaks, or creepy.  My grandmother took care of me while my parents were at work during  my chilhood. The things she taught me, like how to be a gentleman.  Aren't taught to kids today.  They weren't  even taught to most of my generation.  It made me a little sad when I held the door for a girl who I was going to lunch with and  she just stood there not knowing what to do.  She told me no one had ever done that before.  I was very suprised at this because she had been in other relationships, and none of the men had manners enough to open a door for her.  Oh well I guess this makes me different than everybody else.  Although this comes as no suprise I've noticed I'm not like other people in many ways.  I guess just call me old fashioned, and open minded.  Thats an oxymoron if I ever heard one. 

Manning is awesome.... Grossman sucks ......COLTS RULE !!!! and Why on earth did they have Prince on the half-time show of the Super Bowl?

You ever just want walk up to someone wearing a superman shirt, shoot them in the chest and say "Ha ha I guess not."

I just gotta dance

I went to dance class w/ Moe and Roxanne last night it was a lot of fun I'm glad they invited me.   I didn't do well at the tap but it was a little more advanced.  So I really didn't expect to do to well, but the ballet was fun I did ok at it.  Oh am I feeling it today. That on top of fencing on tuesday boy are my glude sore. 

WARNING !!! the movie Babel is incredibly dull and drawn out.  I went to see it tonight with a group of friends.  I give it two stars. ** the acting was good but i really didn't enjoy it at all.

Well things are going well now i'm feeling a lot better.  I decided I think I'm gonna look at Avilla for school instead of UMKC.  I also straightened my hair, Its not as straight as I hoped and I don't really know how to style it ( I've never had straight hair) I will post a pic on myspace soon.

"....Somebody shit on the coats!"

So it been a while since I have actually postedon xanga but here it goes.  I'm having a hard time with friends lately.  A lot of people I call my friends haven't really been living up to the title .  People say oh I'm busy but you know what if it mattered you would make time.  I feel like they don't really care like I am an inconvinience to have around .  And these are people who once I called my best friends. People I trust and love.  People who I would do anything for.  People who were there for some really hard times and helped me through them.  Its like I'm not part of the group.  Like I've been replaced or just overlooked .  Hopefully I'm just seeing this in my own little world and its all ok, but it sure doesn't feel like it.

"There is just something about the Walgreen's that make me just want to steel."